Thunderous remorse is in war with despair. Angry lightning bolt after lightning bolt attacks raw emotions straight to the heart center. A sacred dance of soul lessons are all felt at once. Hazy purpose lingers and happiness is a distant shore. Looking back, fighting for air, and struggling to keep a float. Thick cloud thoughts are suffocating. Panic stricken anticipation of not knowing when the last breath will be overrides all sense of security that took decades to build. Demoralization brought on by self. Undeserving of this life, gratitude lost and forgotten easily- disappears- gone forever for this lifetime. Knowing madame Karma has big plans, ego hides, runs, then becomes a dark secluded corner of darkness never to be found. Lifelong built peace and wisdom trickles to the unknown. Fighting for even a drop of life's lixor is self defeating- a lost cause- undeserving to even think of this life source. The light dwindles, wind fades, and all senses lost. Unconsciously somewhere deep, breath is kept alive by a fading memory of hope.
